Friday, March 18, 2011

Understanding Depression : Signs, Symptoms, Causes and Help

Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life. But when emptiness and despair take hold and won't go away, it may be depression. More than just the temporary "blues," the lows of depression make it tough to function and enjoy life like you once did. Hobbies and friends don't interest you like they used to; you're exhausted all the time; and just getting through the day can be overwhelming. When you're depressed, things may feel hopeless, but with help and support you can get better. But first, you need to understand depression. Learning about depression—including its signs, symptoms, causes, and treatment—is the first step to overcoming the problem.

What is depression?

We all go through ups and downs in our mood. Sadness is a normal reaction to life's struggles, setbacks, and disappointments. Many people use the word "depression" to explain these kinds of feelings, but depression is much more than just sadness.

Some people describe depression as "living in a black hole" or having a feeling of impending doom. However, some depressed people don't feel sad at all—instead, they feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic.

Whatever the symptoms, depression is different from normal sadness in that it engulfs your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. The feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness are intense and unrelenting, with little, if any, relief.


Are you depressed?

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won't go away, you may be suffering from clinical depression.

  • you can't sleep or you sleep too much
  • you can't concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
  • you feel hopeless and helpless
  • you can't control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
  • you have lost your appetite or you can't stop eating
  • you are much more irritable and short-tempered than usual
  • you have thoughts that life is not worth living (Seek help immediately if this is the case)

Signs and symptoms of depression

Depression varies from person to person, but there are some common signs and symptoms. It's important to remember that these symptoms can be part of life's normal lows. But the more symptoms you have, the stronger they are, and the longer they've lasted—the more likely it is that you're dealing with depression. When these symptoms are overwhelming and disabling, that's when it's time to seek help.

Common signs and symptoms of depression

  • Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there's nothing you can do to improve your situation.
  • Loss of interest in daily activities.  No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You've lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
  • Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
  • Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
  • Irritability or restlessness. Feeling agitated, restless, or on edge. Your tolerance level is low; everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
  • Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
  • Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
  • Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
  • Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.

Depression and suicide

Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. The deep despair and hopelessness that goes along with depression can make suicide feel like the only way to escape the pain. Thoughts of death or suicide are a serious symptom of depression, so take any suicidal talk or behavior seriously. It's not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide: it's a cry for help.

Warning signs of suicide include:

  • Talking about killing or harming one's self
  • Expressing strong feelings of hopelessness or being trapped
  • An unusual preoccupation with death or dying
  • Acting recklessly, as if they have a death wish (e.g. speeding through red lights)
  • Calling or visiting people to say goodbye
  • Getting affairs in order (giving away prized possessions, tying up loose ends)
  • Saying things like "Everyone would be better off without me" or "I want out."
  • A sudden switch from being extremely depressed to acting calm and happy.

If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide, express your concern and seek professional help immediately. Talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life.

The faces of depression

Depression often looks different in men and women, and in young people and older adults. An awareness of these differences helps ensure that the problem is recognized and treated.

Depression in teens

Depression in teensWhile some depressed teens appear sad, others do not. In fact, irritability—rather than depression—is frequently the predominant symptom in depressed adolescents and teens. A depressed teenager may be hostile, grumpy, or easily lose his or her temper. Unexplained aches and pains are also common symptoms of depression in young people.

Left untreated, teen depression can lead to problems at home and school, drug abuse, self-loathing—even irreversible tragedy such as homicidal violence or suicide. But with help, teenage depression is highly treatable.


Depression in older adults

Depression in older adultsThe difficult changes that many older adults face—such as bereavement, loss of independence, and health problems—can lead to depression, especially in those without a strong support system. However, depression is not a normal part of aging. Older adults tend to complain more about the physical rather than the emotional signs and symptoms of depression, and so the problem often goes unrecognized. Depression in older adults is associated with poor health, a high mortality rate, and an increased risk of suicide, so diagnosis and treatment are extremely important.




Depression in men

Depression is a loaded word in our culture. Many associate it, however wrongly, with a sign of weakness and excessive emotion. This is especially true with men. Depressed men are less likely than women to acknowledge feelings of self-loathing and hopelessness. Instead, they tend to complain about fatigue, irritability, sleep problems, and loss of interest in work and hobbies. Other signs and symptoms of depression in men include anger, aggression, violence, reckless behavior, and substance abuse. Even though depression rates for women are twice as high as those in men, men are a higher suicide risk, especially older men.

Depression in women

Rates of depression in women are twice as high as they are in men. This is due in part to hormonal factors, particularly when it comes to premenstrual syndrome (PMS), premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), postpartum depression, and perimenopausal depression. As for signs and symptoms, women are more likely than men to experience pronounced feelings of guilt, sleep excessively, overeat, and gain weight. Women are also more likely to suffer from seasonal affective disorder.


Types of depression

Depression comes in many shapes and forms. The different types of depression have unique symptoms, causes, and effects. Knowing what type of depression you have can help you manage your symptoms and get the most effective treatment.

Major depression

Major depression is characterized by the inability to enjoy life and experience pleasure. The symptoms are constant, ranging from moderate to severe. Left untreated, major depression typically lasts for about six months. Some people experience just a single depressive episode in their lifetime, but more commonly, major depression is a recurring disorder. However, there are many things you can do to support your mood and reduce the risk of recurrence.

Atypical Depression

Atypical depression is a common subtype of major depression. It features a specific symptom pattern, including a temporary mood lift in response to positive events. You may feel better after receiving good news or while out with friends. However, this boost in mood is fleeting. Other symptoms of atypical depression include weight gain, increased appetite, sleeping excessively, a heavy feeling in the arms and legs, and sensitivity to rejection. Atypical depression responds better to some therapies and medications than others, so identifying this subtype can be particularly helpful.

Dysthymia (recurrent, mild depression)

Dysthmia is a type of chronic "low-grade" depression. More days than not, you feel mildly or moderately depressed, although you may have brief periods of normal mood. The symptoms of dysthymia are not as strong as the symptoms of major depression, but they last a long time (at least two years). These chronic symptoms make it very difficult to live life to the fullest or to remember better times. Some people also experience major depressive episodes on top of dysthymia, a condition known as "double depression." If you suffer from dysthymia, you may feel like you've always been depressed. Or you may think that your continuous low mood is "just the way you are." However, dysthymia can be treated, even if your symptoms have gone unrecognized or untreated for years.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)

There's a reason why so many movies and books portray rainy days and stormy weather as gloomy. Some people get depressed in the fall or winter, when overcast days are frequent and sunlight is limited. This type of depression is called seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Seasonal affective disorder is more common in northern climates and in younger people. Like depression, seasonal affective disorder is treatable. Light therapy, a treatment that involves exposure to bright artificial light, often helps relieve symptoms.

Bipolar Disorder: When Depression is Just One Side of the Coin

Bipolar Disorder: Signs, Symptoms, and Causes of Manic DepressionBipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, is characterized by cycling mood changes. Episodes of depression alternate with manic episodes, which can include impulsive behavior, hyperactivity, rapid speech, and little to no sleep. Typically, the switch from one mood extreme to the other is gradual, with each manic or depressive episode lasting for at least several weeks. When depressed, a person with bipolar disorder exhibits the usual symptoms of major depression. However, the treatments for bipolar depression are very different. In fact, antidepressants can make bipolar depression worse.


Depression causes and risk factors

Some illnesses have a specific medical cause, making treatment straightforward. If you have diabetes, you take insulin. If you have appendicitis, you have surgery. But depression is more complicated. Depression is not just the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain, and is not simply cured with medication. Experts believe that depression is caused by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. In other words, your lifestyle choices, relationships, and coping skills matter just as much—if not more so—than genetics. However, certain risk factors make you more vulnerable to depression.

Causes and risk factors for depression

  • Loneliness
  • Lack of social support
  • Recent stressful life experiences
  • Family history of depression
  • Marital or relationship problems
  • Financial strain
  • Early childhood trauma or abuse
  • Alcohol or drug abuse
  • Unemployment or underemployment
  • Health problems or chronic pain

The cause of your depression helps determine the treatment

Understanding the underlying cause of your depression may help you overcome the problem. For example, if you are depressed because of a dead end job, the best treatment might be finding a more satisfying career, not taking an antidepressant. If you are new to an area and feeling lonely and sad, finding new friends at work or through a hobby will probably give you more of a mood boost than going to therapy. In such cases, the depression is remedied by changing the situation.

The road to depression recovery

Just as the symptoms and causes of depression are different in different people, so are the ways to feel better. What works for one person might not work for another, and no one treatment is appropriate in all cases. If you recognize the signs of depression in yourself or a loved one, take some time to explore the many treatment options. In most cases, the best approach involves a combination of social support, lifestyle changes, emotional skills building, and professional help.

Ask for help and support

Ask for help and supportIf even the thought of tackling your depression seems overwhelming, don't panic. Feeling helpless and hopeless is a symptom of depression—not the reality of your situation. It does not mean that you're weak or you can't change! The key to depression recovery is to start small and ask for help. Having a strong support system in place will speed your recovery. Isolation fuels depression, so reach out to others, even when you feel like being alone. Let your family and friends know what you're going through and how they can support you.

Make healthy lifestyle changes

Lifestyle changes are not always easy to make, but they can have a big impact on depression. Lifestyle changes that can be very effective include:

  • Cultivating supportive relationships
  • Getting regular exercise and sleep
  • Eating healthfully to naturally boost mood
  • Managing stress
  • Practicing relaxation techniques
  • Challenging negative thought patterns

Build emotional skills

Many people lack the skills needed to manage stress and balance emotions. Building emotional skills can give you the ability to cope and bounce back from adversity, trauma, and loss. In other words, learning how to recognize and express your emotions can make you more resilient.

Seek professional help

If support from family and friends, positive lifestyle changes, and emotional skills building aren't enough, seek help from a mental health professional. There are many effective treatments for depression, including therapy, medication, and alternative treatments. Learning about your options will help you decide what measures are most likely to work best for your particular situation and needs.

Effective treatment for depression often includes some form of therapy. Therapy gives you tools to treat depression from a variety of angles. Also, what you learn in therapy gives you skills and insight to prevent depression from coming back.

Some types of therapy teach you practical techniques on how to reframe negative thinking and employ behavioral skills in combating depression. Therapy can also help you work through the root of your depression, helping you understand why you feel a certain way, what your triggers are for depression, and what you can do to stay healthy.




Nervous Breakdown : A Psychological disorder

A nervous breakdown is not a clinical term, but can apply to many different situations in which someone begins to exhibit symptoms of different mental illnesses, or heavy emotional stress. The term nervous breakdown dates from a much older diagnosis of particularly women who suddenly became unable to function in their lives. Usually first symptoms are or were ignored, prompting what is now known as a psychotic break from reality, or a psychotic episode. This may show up in the form of an attempted suicide, or extreme behavior that requires hospitalization.

Since many different illnesses can cause what many term a "nervous breakdown," it is difficult to describe symptoms. Perhaps the greatest predictor of nervous breakdown is familial history of mental instability. Those who have family members with major depression, bipolar, anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, or schizophrenia are more likely to be at risk for these mental illnesses. Undiagnosed illnesses in family members from the past may manifest in alcoholism or abusive behavior.

Those undergoing high levels of stress, for example after the death of a parent, spouse, or child, or who have been through a messy divorce are more likely to have a "nervous breakdown" if they are predisposed toward certain mental illnesses. As well, even those who do not have a predisposition toward mental illness can have a nervous breakdown if they suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD can manifest years after a single traumatic event, and may be triggered by a situation that seems similar. With those who have undergone trauma, early counseling can help prevent a nervous breakdown.

Thus symptoms may differ for describing a nervous breakdown, but one can look for the following behaviors as possible symptoms that might precipitate a psychotic episode:

  • Disinterest in work or family life
  • Disinterest in social life or alienation from previously close friends and family
  • Sleep disruption or much longer periods of sleep
  • Significant changes in appetite, such as eating too little or too much
  • Paranoid thoughts, such as the thought people are trying to harm you
  • Thoughts of grandeur or invincibility
  • Feelings of persistent anxiety or panic attacks
  • Hearing voices
  • Seeing people who are not there
  • Thoughts of dying or wish to die
  • Exhibiting strong or violent anger
  • Having flashbacks to a prior traumatic event
  • Increasing dependence on alcohol or drugs
  • Inability to pursue a normal life, normal activities or normal relationships

The above list is only a few of the possible symptoms associated with what might become a nervous breakdown or psychotic break. If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these symptoms, you should immediately consult a psychiatrist for diagnosis, and also possibly a therapist to talk over difficult feelings. All people, at one point or another, may experience extreme emotional changes due to grief or to life changes like losing a job, getting thru breaking up of relationship. These are good times to get the assistance of a therapist, as talk therapy can be tremendously helpful in dealing with significant emotional overload.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Ghusl ka Masnoon Tareeqah + Masnoon Method of Performing Ghusl ~








Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Assalaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuhu!

Ghusl ka Masnoon Tareeqah










Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem


* MASNOON METHOD OF PERFORMING GHUSL *


'A'isha (Radi Allaah Anha) reported:

'When Allaah's Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam)
took a bath after Janaba, he first washed his hands:
he then poured water with his right hand
on his left hand and washed his private parts.
He then performed ablution as is done for prayer'.
He then took some water and put his fingers
and moved them through the roots of his hair.
And when he found that these had been properly moistened,
then poured three handfuls on his head
and then poured water over his body
and subsequently washed his feet.'


(Hadith Sahih Muslim: Book #003, Hadith #0616)

***

Before making Ghusl one should make Niyyah (intention) thus: -

"I am performing Ghusl so as to become purified."

Without Niyyah, there is no thawaab (reward) although Ghusl will be valid. Ghusl should be made in a place of total privacy and one should not face towards the Kiblah while making Ghusl. Ghusl may be performed standing or seated, preferably seated. Use sufficient water, don't skimp nor be wasteful. One should abstain from speaking while performing Ghusl. It is better not to read any Kalimah or Aayah while bathing. Be aware of these rules whilst making Ghusl.


COMPULSORY ACTS OF GHUSL

There are three compulsory acts in Ghusl:

1. To rinse the mouth. (If you are not fasting, then gargle).
2. To clean the nostrils.. (ears as well)
3. To pour water over the whole body in such a way that a hair's-breadth place is not left dry.


THE SUNNATS OF GHUSL

1. To wash both hands up to the wrists.
2. To wash the private parts and those parts over which impurity is found.
3. To make niyyah of removing the impurity.
4. To perform wuzoo first.
5. To pour water over the whole body thrice.


PROCEDURE FOR PERFORMING GHUSL:


* Wash both hands up to and including wrists.


* Wash the private parts. The hands and private parts should be washed even if one is not in the state of Janabat or Najasat.


* If there is Najasat elsewhere on the body, it should now be washed off.


* Perform Wudhu. If making Ghusl on a stool or platform where water will rapidly flow away, and then perform the complete Wudhu. If there is fear of the feet being immersed in wastewater during the Ghusl then postpone the washing of the feet to the end of the Ghusl. Ensure that the mouth and nostrils are thoroughly rinsed thrice.


* After performing Wudhu, pour water over the head thrice, then pour thrice over right shoulder and thrice again over left shoulder. Now pour water over entire body and rub. If the hair of the head is not plaited, it is compulsory to wet all the hair up to the very base. If a single hair is left dry, Ghusl will not be valid. If the hair of a woman is plaited, she is excused from loosening her plaited hair, but it is compulsory for her to wet the base of each and every hair. If one fails to do this then the Ghusl will not be valid. As for men who grow long hair and plait them, they are NOT excused from leaving their hair dry. If a woman experiences difficulty or is unable to wet the very bottom of her plaited hair, then it is necessary for her to unplaite her hair and wash her entire head. It is Mustahab (preferable) to clean the body by rubbing it. All parts of the body should be rubbed with the hand so as to ensure that water has reached all parts of the body, and that no portion is left dry. Rings and earrings, etc. should be moved so as to ensure that no portion covered by them is left dry. Ensure that the navel and the ears are all wetted. If they are not wet Ghusl will be incomplete.


* On completion one should confine oneself to a clean place. If, while performing Wudhu, the feet had been washed, it is not necessary to wash them again. Dry the body with a clean towel, and dress as hastily as possible.


If, after Ghusl, one recalls that a certain portion of the body is left dry, it is not necessary to repeat the Ghusl, but merely wash the dry portion. It is not sufficient to pass a wet hand over the dry place. If one has forgotten to rinse the mouth or the nostrils, these too could be rinsed when recalled after Ghusl has been performed.

***

Note 1: Both actions, i.e. to dry the body with a cloth / towel or to leave it wet, are Masnoon, so whichever of the two modes you choose, make the intention of following the Sunnat. (Mishkaat)

Note 2: Salaat can be performed after the Ghusl. There is no need to perform fresh wuzoo, regardless of the fact that one was naked during wuzoo /Ghusl. (Tirmizi)

* If the wuzoo breaks after the Ghusl, then a fresh wuzoo will be necessary.


IMPORTANT MAS'ALAH

* If dough has dried up on the nail or nail polish has been applied, the water will not reach the nail; hence wuzoo and Ghusl will not be valid. Generally, there is excessive negligence in this regard.




And Allaah Knows The Best....


Monday, March 14, 2011

Coping with suicidal thoughts

Suicide  is the act of a human being intentionally causing his or her own death. Suicide is often committed out of despair, or attributed to some underlying mental disorder which includes depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, alcoholism and drug abuse.Financial difficulties, troubles with interpersonal relationships and other undesirable situations play a significant role.[2] Over one million people commit suicide every year. The World Health Organization estimates that it is the thirteenth-leading cause of death worldwide and the National Safety Council rates it sixth in the United States.[4] It is a leading cause of death among teenagers and adults under 35.[5][6] Rates of suicide are higher in men than in women.There are an estimated 10 to 20 million non-fatal attempted suicides every year worldwide.


Islam, like other Abrahamic religions, views suicide as one of the greatest sins and utterly detrimental to one's spiritual journey. A verse in the fourth chapter of the Quran, An-Nisaa (The Women) instructs; "And do not kill yourselves, surely God is most Merciful to you." (4:29)

Most Muslim scholars and clerics consider suicide forbidden, including suicide bombings, and often cite the aforementioned verse in the Qur'an as a clear commandment forbidding suicide. Some Shafii scholars even classify suicide as an unpardonable sin, the equivalent of eternal sin in Christianity.

The prohibition of suicide has also been recorded in authentic statements of hadith, (sayings of Muhammad). For example:

Hadith - Bukhari 2:446 Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "He who commits suicide by throttling shall keep on throttling himself in the Hell Fire (forever) and he who commits suicide by stabbing himself shall keep on stabbing himself in the Hell-Fire."[3]

Also, Hadith - Bukhari 7:670, Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "Whoever purposely throws himself from a mountain and kills himself, will be in the (Hell) Fire falling down into it and abiding therein perpetually forever; and whoever drinks poison and kills himself with it, he will be carrying his poison in his hand and drinking it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever; and whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, will be carrying that weapon in his hand and stabbing his abdomen with it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever."

Coping with suicidal thoughts: the first steps

Step #1: Promise not to do anything right now

Even though you're in a lot of pain right now, give yourself some distance between thoughts and action. Make a promise to yourself: "I will wait 24 hours and won't do anything drastic during that time." Or, wait a week.

Thoughts and actions are two different things—your suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality. There's is no deadline, no one pushing you to act on these thoughts immediately. Wait. Wait and put some distance between your suicidal thoughts and suicidal action.

Step #2: Avoid drugs and alcohol

Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.

Step #3: Make your home safe

Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If you are unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time as you need them.

Step #4: Take hope - people DO get through this

Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much self-loathing, hopelessness, or isolation you are currently experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and don't try to go it alone.

Step #5: Don't keep these suicidal feelings to yourself

Many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone we trust. It may be a friend, a therapist, a member of the clergy, a teacher, a family doctor, a coach, or an experienced counselor at the end of a helpline. Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don't let fear, shame, or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. Just talking about how you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the pressure that's building up and help you find a way to cope.

Why do I feel this way?

Many kinds of emotional pain can lead to thoughts of suicide. The reasons for this pain are unique to each one of us, and our ability to cope with the pain differs from person to person. Don't listen to anyone who tells you, "That's not enough to be suicidal about."We are all different. What might be bearable to one person may not be bearable to you.
There are, however, some common factors that may lead us to experience suicidal thoughts and feelings.

Feeling suicidal is often associated with problems that can be treated

Loss, depression, anxiety disorders, medical conditions, drug and alcohol dependency, financial, legal, relationship or school problems, grief or loss, and other life difficulties can all create profound emotional distress. They also interfere with our ability to problem solve. Even if you can't see it now, there are nearly always other solutions for these problems.

Mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder are all treatable with changes in lifestyle, therapy, andmedication. Most people who seek help for their problems and make constructive changes in their lives improve their situation and recover. Even if you have received treatment for a disorder before, or if you've already made attempts to solve your problems, you should know that it'soften necessary to try several different solutions before the right solution or combination of solutions can be found.Almost all problems can be treated or resolved.

Why suicide can seem like the only option

If you are unable to think of solutions other than suicide, it is not that other solutions don't exist, but rather that you are currently unable to see them.The intense emotional pain that you're experiencing right now can distort your thinking so it becomes harder to see possible solutions to problems, or to connect with those who can offer support. Therapists, counselors, or friends or loved ones, can help you to see solutions that otherwise may not be apparent to you. Give them a chance to help.

A suicidal crisis is almost always temporary

Although it might seem as if your pain and unhappiness will never end, it is important to realize that crises are usually temporary. Solutions are often found, feelings change, unexpected positive events occur. Remember: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Give yourself the time necessary for things to change and the pain to subside.

Reaching out for help

Even if it doesn't feel like it right now, there are many people who want to support you during this difficult time. They won't try to argue with you about how miserable you feel or tell you to just "snap out of it." They will not judge you. They will simply listen to you and be there for you.

Reach out to someone. Do it now. If you promised yourself 24-hours or a week in step #1, use that time to tell someone what's going on with you. You can call a trusted friend, family member, minister, rabbi, doctor, or therapist. It doesn't matter who it is, as long as it's someone you trust and who is likely to listen with compassion and acceptance.


How to talk to someone about your suicidal thoughts

Even when you've decided who you can trust to talk to, admitting your suicidal thoughts to another person can be difficult.

  • Tell the person exactly what you are telling yourself. If you have a suicide plan, explain it to them.
  • Phrases such as, 'I can't take it anymore' or 'I'm done' are vague and do not illustrate how serious things really are. Tell the person you trust that you are thinking about suicide.
  • If it is too difficult for you to talk about, try writing it down and handing a note to the person you trust. Or send them an email or text and sit with them while they read it.

What if you don't feel understood?

If you do not feel the person you have chosen to talk to has understood, tell someone else, or call a suicide crisis helpline. There are plenty of people out there who will understand. Don't let one bad experience stop you from finding someone who can help.

Ways to cope with suicidal thoughts and feelings

Remember that while it may seemas if these suicidal thoughts and feelings will never end, thisis never a permanent condition. You WILL feel better again. In the meantime, there are some ways to help cope with your suicidal thoughts and feelings.

Things to do

  • Talk with someone every day, preferably face to face. Though you feel like withdrawing, ask trusted friends and acquaintances to spend time with you. Or continue to call a crisis helpline and talk about your feelings.
  • Make a safety plan. Develop a set of steps that you can follow during a suicidal crisis. It should include contact numbers for your doctor or therapist, as well as friends and family members who will help in an emergency.
  • Make a written schedule for yourself every day and stick to it, no matter what. Keep a regular routine asmuch as possible, even when your feelings seemout of control.
  • Get out in the sun or into nature for at least 30-minutes a day.
  • Exerciseas vigorously as is safe for you. To get the most benefit, aim for 30 minutes of exercise per day. But you can start small. Three 10-minute bursts of activity can have a positive effect on mood.
  • Make time for things that bring you joy.Even if very few things bring you pleasure at the moment, force yourself to do the things you used to enjoy.
  • Remember your personal goals. You may have always wanted to travel to a particular place, read a specific book, own a pet, move to another place, learn a new hobby, volunteer, go back to school, or start a family. Write your personal goals down.

Things to avoid:

  • Being alone. Solitude can make suicidal thoughts even worse. Visit a friend, or family member. If you have no one, pick up the phone and call a crisis helpline.
  • Alcohol and drugs. Drugs and alcohol can increase depression, hamper your problem-solving ability, and can make you act impulsively.
  • Doing things that make you feel worse. Listening to sad music, looking at certain photographs, reading old letters, or visiting a loved one's grave can all increase negative feelings.
  • Thinking about suicide and other negative thoughts. Try not to become pre-occupied with suicidal thoughts as this can make them even stronger. Don't think and rethink negative thoughts. Find a distraction. Giving yourselfa break from suicidal thoughts can help, even if it'sfor a short time.

Recovering from suicidal feelings

Even if your suicidal thoughts and feelings have subsided, get help for yourself. Experiencing that sort of emotional pain is itself a traumatizing experience. Finding a support group or therapist can be very helpful indecreasing the chances that you will feel suicidal again in the future. You can get help and referrals from your doctor or from the organizations listed in our Related Links section.

5 steps to recovering from suicidal thoughts and feelings

  • Identify triggers or situations that lead to feelings of despair or generate suicidal thoughts, such as an anniversary of a loss, alcohol, or stress from relationships. Find ways to avoid these places, people, or situations.
  • Take care of yourself. Eat right, don't skip meals, and get plenty of sleep. Exercise is also key: it releases endorphins, relieves stress, and promotes emotional well-being.
  • Build your support network. Surround yourself with positive influences and people who make you feel good about yourself. The more you're invested in other people and your community, the more you have to lose—which will help you stay positive and on the recovery track.
  • Develop new activities and interests. Find new hobbies, volunteer activities, or work that gives you a sense of meaning and purpose. When you're doing things you find fulfilling, you'll feel better about yourself and feelings of despair are less likely to return.
  • Learn to deal with stress in a healthy way.Find healthy ways to keep your stress levels in check, including exercising, meditating, using sensory strategies to relax, practicing simple breathing exercises, and challenging self-defeating thoughts. 

Last but not the Least ....Life is so beautiful, no religion supports suicide, its Haram in Islam, This life is not our property, we are all slaves of almighty, we have to accept whatever comes in this life, Bad times wont stay forever like Good times dint, Life is like a coin, good and bad times are two parts of same coin, no matter what we have to keep ourselves thankful to almighty Allah coz only He knows when we have Blessings in Disguise ...

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Women's Rights in Islam Modernizing or Outdated?




According to the Oxford dictionary, 'Women's Rights are the rights, that promote
a position of social and legal equality, of women to men'. According to the
Oxford dictionary, 'they are the rights, claimed for the women, equal to those
of men, as regards to suffrage that right to vote, as regards to property, etc'.
'Modernising', according to the Oxford dictionary means, 'to make modern, to
adapt to modern needs or habits'. And according to the Webster's dictionary it
means 'To make modern, or to give a new character or appearance - e.g., to
modernise ones ideas'.

In short, modernising is a process of updating or opting for the betterment of
the present status itself - It is not the present modern status itself. Can we
modernise ourselves, to master our problems, and to realize a new way of life,
for the whole human race? I am not concerned about the modern ideas, the
conclusions and the categorical statements made by scientists and inexperienced
armchair experts, as how a life should be lived by a woman.
I am going to base my conclusions and considerations on truth, which can be
proved by experience.

Experience and unbiased factual holistic analysis, are the sure test, between
the gold of truth, and the glitter of theory. We have to check our thinking
against reality, otherwise many a times, our mental process will go astray -
Indeed the great brains of one time, believed that the world was flat.

Women Rights in the West

If we agree with the 'Women's rights in Islam', as portrayed by the Western
media, you have no option, but to agree that the 'Women's rights in Islam' are
outdated. The Western talk of women's liberation, is actually a disguised form
of exploitation of her body, deprivation of her honour and degradation of her
soul.

The Western society which speaks of upgrading the status of women in Islam, have
actually reduced her status to concubines, to mistresses, to society
butterflies, which are mere tools in the hands of sex marketers and pleasure
seekers, which are disguised behind the colorful screen of art and culture.

Women Rights in Islam

Islam's radical revolutionary support, gave women their due right and status in
the days of ignorance 1,400 years ago. Islam's objective was and continues to
be, to modernise our thinking, our living, our seeing, our hearing, our feeling
and striving for the women's upliftment and emancipation in the society.

Before I dwell further with the topic, I would like you to make note of a few
points:

Approximately one fifth of the world's population, consists of Muslims. There
are different Muslim societies - Some may be close to Islam, some may be far
away from Islam.


The 'Women's rights in Islam' should judged according to the authentic sources,
and not what individual Muslims do, or what the Muslim society does.

The authentic sources of Islam, are the Qur'an, which is the word of God, and
the authentic Sunnah, and the traditions of our beloved Prophet (peace be upon
him). Qur'an will never contradict itself, nor will the authentic Hadith
contradict itself. neither will these two authentic sources, contradict each
other.

Sometimes the scholars differ, and many a times, these differences can be
removed by analyzing the Qur'an as a whole, and not just by quoting one
particular Verse. Because if one particular verse of the Qur'an is ambiguous
many a times the answer is given somewhere else in the Qur'an - Some people
quote one source and neglect all the other sources.


It is the duty of every Muslim, male or female, to seek the pleasure of God, and
to act as His trustee on this world, and not to try and gain fame or satisfy
one's own ego.



Islam believes in equality of men and women – 'Equality' does not mean
'identicality'. In Islam, the role of a man and woman is complimentary, it is
not conflicting. It is that of a partnership, it is not contradictory, so as to
strive for supremacy.


Where 'Women's rights in Islam' is concerned, I have divided it into 6 broad
categories.

Six Categories of Women Rights in Islam

'The Spiritual rights'

'The Economical rights'

'The Social rights'

'The Educational rights'

'The Legal rights'

'The Political rights'.


Gender is Not the Criteria to Enter Paradise:

The greatest misconception that the West has about Islam, is that they think
'Paradise in Islam, is only meant for the male - it is not meant for the
female'.

This misconception can be removed by quoting from Surah Nisa, Ch. No. 4, Verse
No 124, which says, 'If any of you do deeds of righteousness, whether it be male
or a female and has faith, they shall surely enter Paradise and not the least
injustice shall be done to them'

A similar thing is repeated in Surah Nahl, Ch.16, Verse No.97 which says 'If any
of you perform good deeds, be it a man or a woman and is a believer, We shall
give you good life and We should reward you for all your good works'. Just
because in Islam, sex is not the criteria to enter Paradise, will you call such
rights in Islam as modernising or outdated?

A. Spiritual Rights of Women in Islam

Another misconception is that, which the Western media has, that, 'The woman has
no soul'.
In fact, it was in the seventeenth century, when the Council of wise men, when
they gathered at Rome, and they unanimously agreed that the woman had no soul.

In Islam, man and woman have the same spiritual nature. It is mentioned in
Quran, Ch.4, Verse No.1, which says that, 'O humankind reverence your Guardian
Lord, who has created you from a single person and created like nature his
mate'.

A similar thing is mentioned in Surah Nahl, Ch.16, Verse No.72, which says that,
'We have made for you companions and mates of your own nature'.


In Surah Al-Shura, Ch.42, Verse No.11, it says, 'He is the one who has created
the heavens and the earth and has made for you pairs from among yourselves'.


Just because the spiritual nature of a man and woman is the same in Islam, will
you call such rights in Islam, as modernizing or outdated? The Qur'an clearly
mentions that, 'God has breathed somewhat of His spirit into the human beings'.

If you read Surah Hijr, Ch.15, Verse No.29, it says, 'When I have fashioned you
in due proportion and have breathed into you something of my spirit, fall you
down in obeisance'.

A similar thing is repeated in the Qur'an, in Surah Sajdah, Ch. 32, Verse No.9,
which says, 'Then He fashioned him and breathed into him of His Spirit...'.

Here, when God refers to as 'Something of My Spirit, is breathed into the human
beings' - it does not mean, a sort of incarnation or a pantheistic form. It
means that Allah has given to every human being something of His spiritual
Nature, and the Knowledge of God Almighty, and coming closer towards Him. Here
it refers to both Adam and Eve (may peace be upon them) - Both were breathed
something of God's Spirit.

Again we read in the Qur'an, that Allah has appointed the human being as His
vicegerent, as His trustee, as is mentioned in Surah Isra, Ch.17, Verse No.70,
which says, 'We have honoured the children of Adam and bestowed on them special
favours'.

Note, here all the children of Adam have been honoured, male as well as female.
There are some Religious scriptures, for example the Bible, which puts the blame
on Eve for the downfall of humanity. In fact if you read the Qur'an in Surah
Araf, Ch.7, Verse No.19 to 27, Adam and Eve (may peace be upon them both) are
addressed, more than a dozen of times.

Both disobeyed God, both asked for forgiveness, both repented, and both were
forgiven.
In the Bible, if you read Genesis, Ch. 3, only Eve is held responsible (May
peace be upon her) for the downfall of humanity. And according to the doctrine
of 'Original Sin', because of Eve (may peace be upon her) the whole of humanity
is born in sin.

Does Pregnancy Uplift the Women or Degrade?

If you read the Bible in Genesis, Ch. 3, Verse No.16, it says that,
'To the woman He (God) said, "I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your
husband, and he shall rule over you."' That means, pregnancy and child birth has
been said in the Bible to degrade the women and the labour pain is a sort of
punishment.

In fact if you read the Qur'an, pregnancy and child birth have uplifted the
women. If you read Surah Nisa, Ch.4, Verse No.1, it says,

'Respect the womb that bore you'.

Its mentioned in Surah Luqman, Ch.31, Verse No.14, it says,
'We have enjoined on the human being to be kind to the parents, in travail upon
travail did their mother bore them and in years twain was their weaning'.

A similar thing is mentioned in Surah Ahqaf, Ch.46, Verse No.15, it again
repeats, which says,

'We have enjoined on the human beings to be kind to his parents'.

To be kind to the parents - in pain did their mother bore them, and in pain did
she give them birth - Pregnancy in the Qur'an has uplifted the women not
degraded her. Just because pregnancy has uplifted the women in Islam will you
call such rights in Islam as modernizing or outdated?

Criteria in the Sight of God to Judge Male and Female:

The only criteria for judgment in the sight of Allah is 'Taqwa', 'God
consciousness' or 'righteousness'.

It is mentioned in Surah Hujurat, Ch.49, Verse No.13
'O humankind, We have created you from a single pair of male and female and have
divided you into nations and tribes, so that you shall recognize each other not
that you despise each other and the most honored in the sight of God, is the one
who is the most righteous'.

Gender, colour, caste, wealth has got no criteria in Islam - The only criteria
in the sight of God is 'righteousness', neither is sex the criteria for God to
reward or to punish a person.
If you read Surah Imran Ch.3 Verse No.195 it says
'I will never suffer the loss of any of you, be it male or female, you are
companions unto each other'.

Equal Moral Duties for Men and Women:

I had started my talk by quoting a verse from the Qur'an from Surah Al Ahzab,
Ch.33, Verse No.35, which says,

'For Muslim men and Muslim women, for believing men and women, for devout men
and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and
constant, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast and
deny themselves, for men and women who guard their chastity, for men and women
who engage much in God's praise, God has prepared for them forgiveness and a
vast reward.'


This verse indicates that the spiritual duties, the moral duties, for the men
and women in Islam are the same - Both have to believe, both have to pray, both
have to fast, both have to give in charity, etc, etc. But the women has been
given certain concession in Islam. If she is undergoing her menstrual period or
pregnancy, she does not have to fast - She can keep those fasts later on, when
she is more healthy.

During the menstrual period and during the postnatal period, she needs not pray
also - she has been given the concession, and neither does she have to
compensate it later on. Just because the moral duties of the men and women are
equal in Islam will you call such rights in Islam as modernizing or outdated?

B. Economical Rights to the Women

Islam gave economical rights to the women 1,300 years before the West. An adult
Muslim woman can own, she can dispose or disown any of her property without
consulting any one, irrespective whether she is married or she is single.

In 1870, it was the first time in England, that the West recognized the rights
of the married woman, where she was allowed to own or dispose any of her
property without consultation. I do agree that the women were given their
economical rights 1300 years ago - these are ancient rights - but the question
is – 'are they modernizing or outdated?'

Women on Job:

A women in Islam, if she wishes to work she can work - There is no text in the
Qur'an or the authentic Hadith which prevents or makes it prohibited for a woman
to do any work, as long as it is not unlawful, as long as it is within the
preview of the Islamic Shariah, as long as she maintains her Islamic dress code.
But natural, she cannot take up jobs, which exhibit her beauty and body - Like
for example, modeling and film acting, and such kind of jobs.

Many of the professions and jobs which are prohibited for the woman are also
prohibited for the man, for example serving alcohol, working in gambling dens,
doing any unethical or dishonest business. All these jobs are prohibited for
both men and women.

A true Islamic society requires women to take up profession such as doctors. We
do require female Gynecologists, we do require female nurses, we do require
female teachers. But, a woman in Islam has got no financial obligations - The
financial obligation is laid on the shoulders of the man in the family -
Therefore she need not work for her livelihood. But in genuine cases, where
there are financial crisis in which both the ends do not meet, she has the
option of working. Here too, no one can force her to work - She works out of her
own, absolute free will.

Financial Security for Women:

A woman in Islam has been given more financial security, as compared to the man.
As I told you earlier, the financial obligation is not put on her shoulder - It
is put on the shoulder of the man in the family. It is the duty of the father or
the brother, before she is married and the duty of the husband or the son, after
she is married to look after her lodging, boarding, clothing and financial
aspects of her.

Compulsory Marital Gift for a Woman:

When she gets married, she is on the receiving end. She receives a gift - she
receives a dower or a marital gift, which is called as 'Meher'. And it is
mentioned in the Qur'an in Surah Nisa, Ch.4 Verse No.4 which says, 'Give to the
woman in dower, a marital gift'.

For a marriage to solemnize in Islam, 'Meher' is compulsory. But unfortunately
in our Muslim society here, we just keep a nominal 'Meher' to satisfy the
Qur'an, say 151 Rupees [the currency of India], or some people give 786 Rupees
and they spend lakhs [millions] and lakhs [millions] of Rupees on the reception,
on the decoration, on the flowers, on the lunch parties, on the dinner parties.

In Islam, there is no lower-limit, nor is there an upper limit for 'Meher' - But
when a person can spend lakhs of Rupees on the reception, surely the 'Meher '
should be much more. There are various cultures which have crept into the Muslim
societies, specially in the Indo-Pak area.
They give a small amount of 'Meher' and they expect the wife to give a fridge,
to give a T.V set, they expect the wife to give an apartment, to give a car,
etc., and a large sum of dowry, depending upon the status of the husband.

If he is a graduate, they may expect 1 lakh - If he is an engineer they may
expect 3 lakhs - If he is a doctor they may expect 5 lakhs. Demanding dowry from
the wife, directly or indirectly is prohibited in Islam. If the parents of the
girl give the girl something out of their own free will, it is accepted - But
demanding or forcing directly or indirectly, it is prohibited in Islam.

No Financial Liabilities:

If a Woman works, which she does not have to - whatever earning she gets, it is
absolutely her property. She need not spend on the household - if she wants to
spend it is her free will.
Irrespective how rich the wife is, it is the duty of the husband to give
lodging, boarding, clothing and look after the financial aspects of the wife.

In case of divorce or if a wife gets widowed, she is given financial support for
the period of 'Iddah' - and if she has children, she is also given child
support.

Right to Inherit:

Islam gave the right to the women to inherit, centuries ago. If you read the
Qur'an - in several verses, in Surah Nisa, in Surah Baqarah and in Surah Maidah,
it is mentioned that a woman, irrespective she is a wife or she is a mother, or
a sister, or a daughter, she has a right to inherit. And it has been fixed by
God Almighty in the Qur'an.

C. Social Rights of Women in Islam

Broadly it can be categorized into four sub-headings. Social rights given to a
daughter, to a wife, to a mother and to a sister.

Social Rights to a Daughter:

Islam prohibits, female infanticide. The killing of female children is forbidden
in Islam. It is mentioned in Surah Taqveem, Ch. 81, Verse No. 8 and 9, 'when the
female child is buried alive and when she questions you, for what crime was she
killed'.


Not only female infanticide has been prohibited, all sorts of infanticides has
been prohibited in Islam, whether it be a male child or a female child. It is
mention in the Qur'an in Surah A'nam Ch.6, Verse No.151 that, 'Kill Not your
children for want of sustenance for it is God that will provide sustenance for
you and for children'.


A similar thing is mentioned in Surah Isra, Ch.17 Verse No.31 which says
'Kill not your children for want of sustenance, for it is God that will provide
sustenance to you and your children, for killing of children is a major sin'.


In the pre-Islamic Arabia, whenever a female child was born mostly she was
buried alive. Alhamdullillah, after the spread of Islam this evil practice has
been discontinued. But unfortunately it still continues in India - According to
a BBC report, in the programe assignment the title of which was 'Let Her Die',
there was a British reporter by the name of Emily Beckenen, who came all the way
from Britain to India to give us the statistics of the female infanticide.

In that programe, it gives the statistics, that every day more than 3,000
fetuses are being aborted on being identified that they are females. If you
multiply this figure by the number of days, that is multiplied by 365, you get a
figure of more than one million female fetuses are being aborted every year in
our country. And there are big hoarding and posters in states like Tamil Nadu
and Rajasthan, which says spend 500 Rupees and save 5 lakh Rupees. What does it
mean? - That spend Rupees 500 on medical examination like Aminocententus or
Ultra Sonography, and identify the gender of child. If it is a female you can
abort it and you'll save 5 lakh Rupees - How? The couple of lakhs you spend on
upbringing her and the remaining lakhs of Rupees you spend on giving dowry to
the man who will marry her (a custom in India).


According to the report of the Government Hospital of Tamil Nadu – 'out of every
10 female children that are born, four are put to death' - No wonder the female
population in India is less than the male population. Female infanticide was
continuing in India since centuries - If you analyze the statistics of the 1901
census, for every 1000 males there were 972 females. According to the 1981
statistics and census, it tells you for every 1000 males you have 934 females.
And the latest statistics of 1991 tells you that for every 1000 males you have
927 females. You can analyze that the female ratio is dropping every year - And
since science and medicine has advanced, it has helped in this evil practice.


Just because Islam tells you that you should not kill any children whether it be
male or female will you call these rights in Islam as modernizing or outdated?
Qur'an not only prohibits female infanticide, it rebukes at the thought of you
rejoicing at the birth of a male child and getting saddened at the birth of a
female child. In Islam, a daughter should be brought up correctly. In Islam,
there should be no partiality in upbringing of the daughter or the son.
According to a Hadith, 'In the presence of the Prophet Muhammad, once a man
kissed his son and placed him on his lap but did not do the same to his
daughter. The Prophet immediately objected and said that you are unjust - You
should have even kissed your daughter and placed her on the other lap'.

Social Rights to Wife:

All the previous civilizations, they have considered the women to be an
'instrument of the devil'. The Qur'an refers to the women as 'Mohsana', that is
a 'fortress against the devil'.
And if a woman, who's good, marries a man, she prevents him from going on the
wrong path.
There's a Hadith in which Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) he said that,
'there is no monasticism in Islam' .

And again according to Sahih Bukhari, Volume No. 7, Ch. No. 3 Hadith No 4 it
says that

'the Prophet Muhammad ordained the young men, all those who have the means to
marry, they should marry - For it will help them to guard their gaze and guard
their modesty.

The Qur'an say's that, 'We have put love into the hearts of the husband and
wife'.
If you read Surah Rum, Ch. 30, Verse No. 21 it says that, 'And amongst our signs
We have created for you mates or companions, so that you may dwell in them in
tranquillity and we have put love and mercy between your hearts'.

According to Surah Nisa, Ch.4, Verse No.21, marriage is considered as a strong
agreement, a strong contract. According to Surah Nisa, Ch.4, Verse No.19, it
says,

'You are prohibited to inherit women against their will' - Means, to marry the
permission of both the parties are required.

It is compulsory that the man and women both should agree to marry. No one - not
even the father can force their daughter to marry against her wishes. There's a
Hadith in Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 69, which says

'that a lady she was forced by her father to marry against her wishes' - And she
went to the Prophet and the Prophet invalidated the marriage'.

Another Hadith in Ibn-e-Humbal, Hadith No. 2469, it says 'that a daughter was
forced by her father to get married - And when the daughter approached the
Prophet, the Prophet said you can either continue, or if you wish you can
invalidate the marriage.

That means, the consent of both the male and the female is required. In Islam, a
women is considered as a homemaker - She is not considered as a housewife,
because she is not married to the house. Many people use terminology, without
understanding what it means – 'Housewife' means 'you are the wife of the house'.
So I believe, from now onwards the sisters would prefer calling themselves
'homemakers', than 'house wives', if they are occupied more in the home.

In Islam, a woman, she is not married to a master that she should be treated
like a slave - She is married to it is equal.

And there is a Hadith which says in Ibn-Hambal - Hadith No 736, 7396. It says
that,

'the most perfect of the believers are those that are best in character and
behavior, and those that are best to their family and their wives'. Islam gives
equal rights to the man and woman. Qur'an clearly mentions that men and women,
husband and wife have equal rights in all aspects, except leadership in the
family.

It is mentioned in the Qur'an in Surah Baqarah Ch.2, Verse No.228. It says that,

'...the women have been given rights similar against them (men) on equitable
terms but the men have a degree higher...'.

Most of the Muslims have misunderstood this verse, when it says 'a men have a
degree higher' - As I said we should analyze the Qur'an as a whole. And its
mentioned in Surah Nisa, Ch. 4, Verse No.34 which says, 'The men are the
protectors and maintainers of the women, for God has given one of them more
strength than the other and they give them their means'. People say the word
'Kawwam' means, 'one degree higher in superiority' - But actually the word
'Kawwam' comes from the root word 'Ikamah'. 'Ikamah' means for example 'when you
give the Ikamah before prayers - You stand up'. So 'Ikamah' means to standup -
so the word 'Kawwam' means one degree higher in responsibility, not one degree
higher in superiority.

Even if you read the commentary of 'Ibne-Kathir' - He says that the word
'Kawwam' means one degree higher in responsibility, not one degree higher in
superiority. And this responsibility, should be carried out by mutual consent of
both husband and wife. It is mentioned in Surah Baqarah, Ch.2, Verse No.187,
which says, Which means…

'Your wives are your garments, and you are their garments'.

What's the objective of garments - It is used to conceal and to beautify. The
husband and wife, should conceal each others faults, and they should beautify
each other - Its a relationship of hands and gloves. The Qur'an mentions that,
'even if you do not like your wife, you should treat her kindly'. It is
mentioned in Surah Nisa, Ch.4, Verse No.19, that,

'...consort with them (your wives) in kindness, for if you hate them it may
happen that you hate a thing wherein God has placed much good.' So even if you
dislike your wife you have to treat her kindly and with equity.

Just because the rights of a wife are equal to those of the husband in Islam,
will you call such rights in Islam as modernizing or outdated?

Social Rights to a Mother:

The only thing above respect to Mother, is the worship of God - It is mentioned
in: Ch.17, Verse No.28-29, It says that… 'God has ordained for you, that you
worship none but Him, and to be kind to your parents. And if any one or both of
them reach old age do not say a word of contempt or repel them but address them
with honour, and speak to them with kindness, and lower your wing of humility
and pray to God - 'My Lord! bless them as they have cherished me in childhood'.


Surah Nisa, Ch. No. 4, Verse No. 1 says, 'Respect the womb that bore you'.

Surah A'nam, Ch.6, Verse No.151, says that, 'You have to be kind to your
parents'.


Surah Luqman Ch.31, Verse No.14, says that, 'We have enjoined on the human
beings to be kind to his parents. In travail upon travail, did their mother bore
them and in years twain was their weaning'.


A similar thing is repeated again in Surah Ahqaf, Ch.46, Verse No.15, that 'We
have enjoined on the human beings to be kind to his parents. In pain did their
mother bore them and in pain did she give them birth'.


Another Hadith related in Sahih Bukhari in Volume 8, Ch. No. 2 Hadith No. 2, as
well as in Sahih-Muslim - It says that a man asked the Prophet Muhammad 'Who
requires the maximum love and respect and my companionship in this world? The
Prophet replied – 'your mother' 'Who is next'? – 'your mother' 'Who is next?' –
'your mother'The man asked for the fourth time, - 'Who is next' The Prophet
replied 'your father'. So 75% of the love and respect goes to the mother and 25%
of the love and respect goes to the father. Three fourth of the better part of
the love and respect goes to the mother – One fourth of the remaining part of
the love and respect goes to the father.


Social Rights to a Sister:

According to Surah Tawbah, Ch. 9, Verse No.71, it says that, 'The men and the
women they are friends of each other'.

Prophet Muhammed (may peace be upon him) he said, 'The women are the 'Shakat'
-'Shakat' means sister'.

D. Educational Rights to a Woman

The first 5 verses which were revealed in the Qur'an were from Surah Alaq, or
Surah Iqra, Verse No. 1 to 5 which says:
'Read, recite or proclaim in the name of your Lord, Who has created the human
beings from a congealed clot of blood (a leech like substance). Read, your Lord
is most bountiful. Who has taught the use of the pen. Who has taught the human
beings that which they knew-not'.


The first guidance given in the Qur'an to the humankind was not to pray, was not
to fast, was not to give charity - It was read - Islam pays utmost importance to
education.
Education is Compulsory in Islam:

According to Quran:
God will exalt those of you who believe and those who are given knowledge to
high degrees. (58:11)

And say, O my Lord! increase me in knowledge. (20:114)

And whoever is is given knowledge is given indeed abundant wealth. (2:269)
According to a saying of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) "It is obligatory for every
Muslim, male or female, to acquire knowledge (Al-Bayhaqi).

Imagine, 1400 years ago, when the women were ill treated and were only used as
property, Islam asked the women to be educated. Because Islam tells that every
woman should be educated, - Will you call such women's right's in Islam as
modernizing or outdated?

E. Legal Rights to a Woman

According to the Islamic law, men and women are equal - The Islamic Law protects
the life and property of a man and woman both. If a man murders a woman he too
will receive the capital punishment of 'Kisaas'. According to the Islamic law of
'Kisaas', men and women - irrespective the injury be of the eye, of the nose, of
the ear, of the body - both receive equal punishment. And if the guardian of the
murderer, even it be a woman - If she says, that forgive the murderer and she
accepts 'Dia', that is compensation - her opinion cannot be rejected - they have
to accept it. And if there's difference of opinion between the relatives of the
person whose murdered - And some say that the murderer should be killed and some
say that he should be forgiven and 'Dia' should be accepted - people should
prevent the relatives from killing that murderer. And irrespective whether the
witness or the opinion is given by a man or woman, it has same weight.

According to Surah Maida, Ch.5, Verse No.30 - It says 'As to the thief, whether
he be man or a woman, cut off his or her hand as a punishment for his crime, an
example from God'. Means, if a person robs, irrespective whether he is a man or
a woman his or her hands should be chopped - The punishment is the same.
According to Surah Nur, Ch.24, Verse No.2, it says 'If any commits fornication,
be it a man or a woman, flog them with 100 stripes'. The punishment for
fornication in Islam irrespective whether it is a man or a woman, it is the same
- Flogging with 100 stripes. The punishment for men and women, is the same in
Islam. In Islam a woman is allowed to give witness Imagine, Islam gave right to
a woman to be a witness, 14 centuries ago.


Even now in as late as 1980, the Jewish Rabai, they were considering that
whether the women should be given a right to act as a witness or not - And Islam
gave that right 1400 years ago. Accord ing to Surah Nur, Ch.24, Verse No.4, it
is said 'If any of you put a charge against the chastity of a woman, produce 4
witnesses, and if they falter, flog them with 80 stripes'.


In Islam for a small crime, you require 2 witness - for a big crime you require
4 witnesses. Accusing a woman falsely is a big crime in Islam, therefore you
require 4 witnesses. Now a days you see in the modern society, you find men
abusing women and calling them all sorts of name. They call them prostitutes
etc, and nothing is done. In an Islamic state, if a man calls her a 'prostitute'
in public or anywhere else, and if she takes that man to court - And if that man
cannot produce 4 witnesses or even if he produces 4 witnesses and any one of
them falter, all of them will receive 80 lashes each, and in future all their
evidence will be rejected. Islam gives utmost importance to the chastity of the
woman. When a lady marries, she normally adopts the name of her husband. In
Islam she has the option of either keeping her husband's name, either adopting
the name of the husband, or maintaining her maiden name. And maintaining the
maiden name is recommended in Islam - And we find in several Muslim societies
that women, even after they get married they maintain their maiden name, because
according to the Islamic law men and women are equal. Will you call such rights
in Islam modernizing or outdated?

F. Political Rights of a Woman

According to Surah Tawba, Ch.9, Verse No.71, 'The men and the women they are
friends (supporters) of each other'. Supporters not only Socially - even
Politically – Politically, men and women should support each other. Women can
even take part in law making. And according to the famous Hadith in which Hazrat
Umar (may Allah be pleased with him), he was discussing with the Sahabas, and
considering putting an upper limit on the 'Meher ', since young men were
discouraged from getting married - a lady from the back seat she objected and
said When the Qur'an says in Surah Nisa Ch.4, Verse No.20 that 'you can even
give a heap of treasure, a heap of gold in 'Meher', when Qur'an puts no limit on
'Meher', who is Umar to put a limit (may Allah be pleased with him). And
immediately Hazrat Umar (peace be upon him) said… 'Umar is wrong and the lady is
right'. Imagine, she was a common lady - If it would have been a famous lady,
the name of the lady would be mentioned in the Hadith.


Since the Hadith does not mention the name of the lady, we can understand that
the lady was a common lady. Means, even a common lady can object to the
'Khalifa', the head of the state. And in technical terms it would be called that
– 'she is objecting to the breach of the constitution',- because Qur'an is the
constitution of the Muslims - That means a woman can even take part in law
making. Women have even taken part in the battle fields There is a full chapter
in the Sahih Bukhari mentioning women in the battle field - Women gave water -
they give first aid to the soldiers. Because the Qur'an says 'Man is the
protector of the 'Woman'.

Under normal circumstances, the women should not go to the battle field. It is
the duty of the man. Only when required, under necessity are women allowed - and
they should go to the battle field if they want. Otherwise you'll have the same
position as you are having in the USA. Women in USA are Not Safe In USA women
were allowed to join the battle since 1901 but they were not allowed to take
active part - They only played the part of a nurse. Later on after the 'Feminist
Movement' had started in 1973, the 'Feminist movement' demand ed – 'Why aren't
women allowed to take active part in the battle field?' So the American
government allowed women to take active part in the battle field. And according
to a report of the Defense Department of America, which was released on the 23rd
of April, 1993 it said that, '90 people were sexually assaulted in a convention,
out of which 83 were women and 117 officers were charged with in disciplinary
action'. Imagine in one convention only, 83 women sexually assaulted. What was
the crime of those 117 officers? They made the women run and they snatched at
their clothes. They made them parade absolutely nude without even covering the
genital parts. They were made to have sex in public.


Is this what you call 'Women's rights'? If you think that this is what is
'Women's right', then you can keep your rights to yourselves. We do not want our
sisters, our daughters our mothers to be sexually assaulted. And there was a
uproar in the parliament and the President, Bill Clinton - he himself had to
apologize publicly and he said, 'Necessary action will be taken'. And you know
when politicians say 'necessary action will be taken, what happens. So Islam
allows women to take part in the battle field only when required. But there also
they should maintain their Islamic dress and the Islamic ethics, and their
modesty.

USA Has One of the Highest Rates of Rape. United States of America is supposed
to be one of the most advanced countries of the world. It also has one of the
highest rates of rape in any country in the world. According to a FBI report, in
the year 1990, every day on an average 1756 cases of rape were committed in
U.S.A alone. Later another report said that on an average everyday 1900 cases of
rapes are committed in USA. The year was not mentioned. May be it was 1992 or
1993. May be the Americans got 'bolder' in the following years.

Islamic Law Let's Women Breathe Easily. Consider a scenario where the Islamic
law is implemented in America. Whenever a man looks at a woman and any brazen or
unashamed thought comes to his mind, he lowers his gaze. Every woman wears the
Islamic dress as mentioned in Quran. After this if any man commits rape he is
given capital punishment. I ask you, in such a scenario, will the rate of rape
in America increase, will it remain the same, or will it decrease? If Islamic
law is implemented in any part of the world, women will breathe easier.

Conclusion

Before I conclude, I'd like to give an example. As I said in the beginning of my
talk, Islam believes in equality between men and women - Equality does not mean
identicality. Suppose in a classroom 2 students, student 'A' and 'B', during an
examination both come out first - Both secure 80% marks - 80 out of 100. When
you analyze the question paper, the question paper has 10 differ ent questions,
each carrying 10 marks. In question 1 student 'A' got 9 out of 10, and student
'B' got 7 out of 10 - So in question 1 student 'A' was higher than student 'B'.
In question 2, student 'A' got 7 out of 10 and student 'B' got 9 out of 10 -
Student 'B' was higher than student 'A' in question number 2. In question 3 both
of them got 8 out of 10, both were equal. So when we add up the marks of all the
ten questions, both student 'A' and 'B' got 80 out of 100. So in short, student
'A' and student 'B' are over all equal. In some questions 'A' is higher than
'B', in some questions 'B' is higher than 'A', in others both are equal. In the
same fashion, taking the example that since God has given man more strength -
Suppose a thief enters the house will you tell, 'I believe in women's rights - I
believe in women's rights' - will you tell your mother, your sister and your
daughter, to go and fight the thief?' No, but natural you'll fight him - If
required they may interfere - Under normal circumstances since God has given you
more physical strength, you have to go and tackle the thief. So here, in
physical strength, man is one degree higher than the woman Let us take another
example where it comes to respecting the parents - The children are supposed to
respect the mother 3 times more than the father (as mentioned earlier).


Here the women have one degree higher than the men - Over all both equal So
Islam believes in equality, not identically - Men and women are over all equal
in Islam. This was in brief, the highlights, of 'the Women's Rights in Islam'.
After this what the Muslim society did is different - Many of the Muslim
societies did not give the women their rights and they deviated away from the
Qur'an and the Sunnah. The Western society is largely responsible for this -
because of the Western societies, many Muslim societies have become over
protective, over precautions and have gone to one extreme and deviated away from
the Qur'an and the [Authentic] Sunnah.

On the other extreme, some of the Muslim societies turned to the Western
culture, and followed their culture. I want to tell the Western society that if
you analyze the women's rights in Islam according to the Qur'an and the
[Authentic] Sunnah - you will realize it is modernizing and not outdated.







--
Aish - The Fairy Princess

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Top 10 Mobile Battery Saving Tips

 


Top 10 Mobile Battery Saving Tips :

If you're expecting a call and your battery icon starts blinking, the first thing you should do is find a charger. But if that's not an option, here are ten things you can do to hang on. We'll skip the usual tips about the 'memory effect' and which battery type is better â€" NiCd or Li-Ion â€" because you don't really have a choice in that.

Close Background Applications
If you're using a Smartphone, close applications that you don't need. Applications that stay active in the background use up a bit of CPU, which uses up battery. Make sure you 'exit' the applications from the menu, not by pressing the 'End' key, as that merely puts the application in the background. In Series 60 Smart phones (mostly Nokia̢۪s), hold down the 'Menu' key to get a list of all applications running in the background to close them. In Windows Mobile 5 phones, open the 'Memory' application and check the 'Running programs' tab to close them.

Turn Down Screen Brightness
The screen is one of the most power-consuming parts of the mobile phone. The lower the brightness, the lesser power it needs. Keep it as low as you can, so long as you can still see it! Also, some phones like the E61 and the BlackBerry Pearl come with auto-adjust features that increase the brightness in brightly lit areas and dim it in low-light areas. If you're setting the brightness low, make sure that auto-adjust is turned off.

Don't Use Animated Wallpapers or Screensavers
The animations in wallpapers and screensavers can drain a bit of battery as they also consume a wee bit of CPU. Turn them off.

Turn Off Keypad Lights
If you've been using the phone for a while, you may be able to use the keys without seeing them. If this is the case, the keypad backlight can be turned off. However, not a lot of phones support this, but it's worth considering if your phone does.

Decrease Screen Standby Time Out
The time till your screen dims out and/or gets turned off is configurable in most phones. 10 seconds is good, 5 seconds is better. Set it as low as you can go without it becoming inconvenient.


Turn Off Vibration
Probably the second most power-consuming feature of any mobile phone is the built-in vibration alert. See if you can do without it.

Turn Down Ringer Volume, Keypad Tones and Speaker During Calls
If you're mostly indoors, like in the office or at home, a low ringer volume can go a bit towards saving your battery. Most phones also have DTMF-like keypad tones, which are not necessary if the keypad has decent tactile feedback. I keep them turned off most of the time â€" you can try it too. Volume of the earpiece when you're on a call can also be lowered, and that helps too.

Disable Voice Clarity / EFR / Voice Privacy
Almost all phones now do Enhanced Full Rate (EFR) for voice communication that consumes a little more power. In most cases, the enhanced quality of EFR doesn't make a difference thanks to the high noise levels in our city. Keep it off, you probably won't miss it. Some phones (mostly Samsungs) have a 'voice privacy' feature which can also be turned off to save battery.

Turn off 3G / GPRS / EDGE
Most 3G/UMTS/WCDMA phones keep searching for 3G coverage by default. In India, they'll keep searching till next few years, draining your battery, so go to the network selection screen and choose GSM-only. If your phone has a secondary camera near the screen, it's a 3G phone. Check your phone̢۪s specs on the website if you aren't sure. Sometimes, even regular GPRS or EDGE connections stay active in the back, so make sure you specifically disconnect when you're done browsing the web.

--
Aish - The Fairy Princess


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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

My wish...


I want arms that will hold me at my weakest, Eyes that will see and admire me at my ugliest, and a Heart that will love me at my worst.

if thats not possible then I dont want anyone to bother me with Fake Promises.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

There is nothing written in the stars! Astrology fails scientific mega test

There is nothing written in the stars!
Astrology fails scientific mega test
 
 

A detailed scientific long-term study by researchers in Britain proves the central principle of  astrology invalid and baseless.  It puts an end to the fantastic old claim that the constellation of stars and planets at the time of birth could influence or even determine the development of an individual's character and course of life.
The "Time Twin Study" was started in London in 1958 as a medical research project.  Registering more than 2000 babies, born within minutes of each other on a day in early March,  it had the objective to compare the time twins' health development.  The field of investigation was soon extended.  The research team monitored the test persons over several decades, recording observations about more than 100 parameters in connection with health, occupation, marital situation, anxiety level, aggressiveness, sociability, IQ levels, abilities in music, art, sport, mathematics, language etc.  They tried to collect evidences for similarities between the time twins.  However, no similarities could be identified.

"The test conditions could hardly have been more conductive to success but the results are uniformly negative", stated Dr.Geoffrey Dean, astrologer turned scientist from Perth.  Australia, in a report about the study, published in the current issue of the Journal of Consciousness Studies.  Carrying out an analysis of the study, Dr. Dean and his colleague Prof. Ivan Kelly, Psychologist at the University of Saskatchewar, Canada, found that there was no special trait or tendency shared by the time twins.  They were just as different as people born on any other day under any other planetary constellation.

The claim that stars and planets could influence character and life of human beings has long been dismissed by rationalists and scientists as there is according to all known scientific principles no kind of mechanism imaginable by way of which this influence could possibly work.  Here is empirical proof that it does not work at all.  The study shows clearly that astrological predictions based on the coordinates of birth do not correspond with reality.  They are nothing but exercises in deception.
This should be the end of one of the oldest superstitions.  But it is not hard to predict that the show will still go on.  There are obviously too many people, who like to be deceived and too many.  Who make enormous money by deceiving them.

Periodical : Rationalist Voice  Nov-Dec. 2003, Hyderabad (India)
Compiled by
C.C. Hadke

--
Aish - The Fairy Princess

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Stop habit of nail biting.....

You must have often seen students biting their nails before exams, actors doing it at back stage, or degree holders doing it before going for the interview. Nail biting is a decision taken unconsciously out of nervousness, excitement or anxiety. However If not controlled then in no time it develops into a habit.

Why would any one want to stop this habit?


The chief reason is that we all want to have long, beautiful and well shaped nails which we can show off. These kinds of nails a nail biter surely can't afford.

It damages ones personality also. Imagine that on a date a girl out of nervousness starts biting her nails. That will obviously give a bad impression to the boy.

The germs and dirt settled under the nails goes into the mouth during the activity of biting nails which earns a bad health for one.

Quiting the habit of nail biting is not a tough job. With little bit of self control and determination any of us can do it.

First start from setting short term period for which you will not bite your nails. 3days, a week, decide according to your will power.Don't forget to give your self a reward when you complete this goal. This reward can be anything like buying your self nail paint or some accessory. However, if you don't finish your goal then give yourself a tight slap or punish yourself buy reducing your shopping dates for that month. Rewarding will temp you to quit this habit and punishing will make you not wanting to bite your nails again.There are people who are found to be wearing gloves all day long so that they can prevent themselves from biting nails. You can also try this in initial stage and then after some days check whether you can do without the gloves also. Wearing gloves for some days won't prove to be a bad investment if it helps you get rid of this habit.Are mouth hates to accept things that are not liked by are taste buds. That gives you one more chance to quit this habit. Apply non toxic gels on your nails. The bad taste of the gel will not let you bite your nails again. Don't forget to make sure that you purchase a non toxic gel only that will be safe both for your and your nails health.We should not forget that habit are always decision taken by are unconscious mind so the best thing is to let your sub conscious know that you want to leave this habit. Every day before going to bed say 10 times loudly that you don't want to bite your nails again. Let your sub-conscious listen to it and in not time you will find yourself free from this habit.

--
Aish - The Fairy Princess


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House of 1000 Mirrors


House of 1000 Mirrors

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors.
A small,  happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit.

When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house.
He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could.
To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs
with their tails wagging just as fast as his.
 
He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly.
 As he left the House, he thought  to himself, "This is a wonderful place.
I will come back and visit it often."
 
In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one,
decided to visit the house.
 He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door.
When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and
 was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself,
 "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."
 
All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections
do you see in the faces of the people you meet?