Start of the Day & Etiquette of going to the bathroom...

www.Quran.com   O mankind! We created you from a single pair of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other not that you may despise each other. Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allaah is he who is the most righteous amongst you. And Allaah has full knowledge and is well acquainted with all things.   The Qur'aan 49:13   Etiquette of going to the bathroom You may say that this is a strange topic to be writing about. However, we all visit the bathroom and as we know, it is a place of filth where we relieve ourselves of the filth in our bodies. Have we ever stopped to think what the Islaamic etiquette is to visit the bathroom or has it become an automated everyday action? We must be aware that this beautiful religion has even instructed us on how to clean after relieving ourselves. Just observe the greatness of Islaam that nothing, major or minor, has been left out. At the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him),when one of the polytheists said to Salman Al-Farsi mockingly, "Your Prophet has taught you everything, even how to defecate!" Salman replied with pride, "Yes, indeed! He forbade us to face the Qiblah when urinating or defecating." (Al-Tirmidhi, no. 16) Therefore, we should know that this is not a matter of shame, but something we should be proud of. Below are some points are listed that we should remember when visiting the bathroom. 1. Always enter with the left leg and recite the du'a: "Allahumma innee a'oodhu bika minal-Khubthi wal-Khabaa'ith" (O Allah! I seek refuge in you from male and female noxious beings (devils or evil Jinn)." 2. Don't face the Qiblah or show your back towards it. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "When any one of you sits down to answer the call of nature, he should not face the Qiblah or turn his back towards it." (Sahih Muslim, no. 389) 3. Allaah's name should not be mentioned in the toilet, nor should anything that has the name of Allaah on it be carried inside. 4. The person should do his/her best not to clean the private parts with the right hand. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When any one of you answers the call of nature, he should not hold his private part in his right hand or clean it with his right hand; and (when drinking), he should not breathe into the vessel." (Al-Bukhari, no. 150) 5. The Sunnah is to answer the call of nature sitting, making oneself close to the ground, because this is more concealing and it will be less likely that filth will fall on one's body or clothes. 6. One should not talk while relieving as this has been classified as Makrooh (disliked) by many of scholars. 7. Many people today go into the toilet and start reading a newspaper or a book. It is common to find that people have even resorted to entering the toilet to get away from things and contemplate. This is not the place to do these things. May Allaah protect us from that. 8. When leaving you should go out with your right leg and say, "Ghufraanak" [I ask You (Allaah) for forgiveness]. Again, we should be thankful to Allaah that He has made the religion simple for us. Allaah has taught us how to protect ourselves from evil. Be sure that toilets are from among the evil and dirty places. Abu Dawood and Ibn Majah hav narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "These toilets are visited (by jinn), so when any one of you goes to the toilet, let him say, 'O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from evil and from the male and female devils.'" (Ibn Majah, authenticated by Al-Albani)

Why is a Man allowed to have more than One wife in Islaam?

In the name of Allaah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate   "May the Peace and Blessings of Allaah be Upon You"   Praise be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.      Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu     Why is a Man allowed to have more than One wife in Islaam? i.e. why is Polygamy allowed in Islaam?     Answer: 1.  Definition of Polygamy   Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islaam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited. Now coming to the original question, why is a man allowed to have more than one wife? 2.  The Qur'aan is the only religious scripture in the world that says,"Marry only one".   The Qur'aan is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase marry only one¢. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one. Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives.   In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a few centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one. Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had three wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of polygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah (95% C.E to 1030 C.E) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the Chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife. 3.  Hindus are more polygynous than Muslims   The report of the ¡Committee of The Status of Woman in Islaam¢, published in 1975 mentioned on page numbers 66 and 67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was 5.06% among the Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to Muslims. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures.   Let us now analyse why Islaam allows a man to have more than one wife. 4.  Qur'aan permits limited polygyny   As I mentioned earlier, Qur'aan is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says ¡marry only one¢. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur'aan: "Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one." [Al-Qur'aan 4:3]   Before the Qur'aan was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islaam put an upper limit of four wives. Islaam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them. In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says: "Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women...." [Al-Qur'aan 4:129]   Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife. Broadly, Islaam has five categories of Do's and Don'ts: ¡Fard¢ i.e. compulsory or obligatory ¡Mustahab¢ i.e. recommended or encouraged ¡Mubah¢ i.e. permissible or allowed ¡Makruh¢ i.e. not recommended or discouraged ¡Haraam¢ i.e. prohibited or forbidden Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife. 5.  Average life span of females is more than that of males   By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females.   During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers. 6. India has more male population than female due to female foeticide and infanticide   India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighbouring countries, in which the female population is less than the male population. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females as compared to males.  7.  World female population is more than male population   In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males.  8.  Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical   Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband. Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. There is no other option. All those who are modest will opt for the first.   In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life.   Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islaam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second.   There are several other reasons, why Islaam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women. source-Dr.zakir naik/irf.net

Marriage survival guide the Islamic way...

More Muslim marriages in North America are breaking up in their first year than ever before, according to Shahina Siddiqui, executive director of the Islamic Social Services Association of the United States and Canada (ISSA).  The first five to seven years are the most challenging of any marriage. They are a time a couple spends getting to know each other better and adjusting to each other's habits and personalities.  Below are some of the main problems couples face in the early years and some possible solutions.  1. Lack of proper information before marriage  A number of problems are caused simply by the fact that the couple and their families have not discussed crucial issues beforehand. Some of these include:  • whether or not the wife will work outside the home  • will the couple wait to have children  • which city and country the couple will live in after marriage  • will they live with his parents or have their own apartment  These and other relevant issues need to be discussed and decided in the beginning stages of the marriage process.  2. Who's in charge?  One of the biggest problems is the tug-of-war between couples over who is in control in the relationship. This has led to a stalemate in disagreements, as well as bitter feelings.  Many couples today are refusing to compromise within moderation when differences arise.  While from an Islamic perspective, the husband is given the leadership role in the marriage relationship, this does not mean he runs the couple's family life like a dictatorship.  It must be remembered that Islamically, a leader is one who serves, manages, provides and nourishes. A leader must also have humbleness and humility.  A husband exercises the right kind of leadership by being listening to and consulting (doing Shura) with his wife.  Also, a husband is bound to follow the rules of the Quran and Sunnah. So differences in opinion should be referred back to these sources, instead of becoming a source of tension and problems.  3. The divorce option  Once upon a time, "divorce" was the seven-letter word most Muslim couples avoided using. Today, amongst many Muslim couples in North America, it is one of the first recourses turned to when conflicts occur in marriage.  It should be remembered that out of all of the things Allah has made Halal, divorce is the one He hates the most. Couples need to look at several other alternatives before turning to this drastic measure.  They should seek the help of older, wiser and trustworthy elders who will try to help them resolve their differences. Generally, they need to make a sincere, concerted effort to try to work things out before divorce is seriously considered.  4. Sexual problems  It is unrealistic to expect the issue of sex and sex-related problems to mysteriously disappear once a couple gets married.  In the sex-saturated culture of North America (and everywhere else), couples tend to place very high expectations of each other in this area. They also expect instant results.  In reality, it takes time, commitment, disappointment and investment to establish a sexual relationship in marriage which is in tune with the needs of each partner.  It's important for Muslim couples to walk into marriage with proper information about sex and sexual etiquette from an Islamic perspective. They need to know what is Halal (permissible) and what is Haram (forbidden). They should also keep in mind that spouses must never discuss their sexual relationship with others, unless it is to get help for a specific problem with the right person or authority figure.  On a similar note, it's important for both the husband and wife to remember that they need to make themselves physically attractive to each other. Too many couples take marriage to mean an excuse to now let themselves go. The couple or one of the partners may gain too much weight, or may not care about hygiene and their looks in general. The reverse should be true: spouses should take the time out for these things and give them even more attention after marriage. Our beloved Prophet has recommended husband and wife both to do that, May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him.  5. In-laws  The first few years of marriage are not just a period of adjustment for the married couple. It's one of getting used to in-laws and vice-versa.  Husbands, wives and in-laws need to practice the Islamic rules of social relations with each other. These include: avoiding sarcasm, backbiting, calling each other by offensive nicknames, and making a special effort to respect each other as family members.  As well, comparisons need to be avoided, since every individual and every couple is different. So wives should not be compared to mothers and sisters. Husbands should not be compared to fathers and brothers. In-laws should not be compared to parents, etc.  In addition, there should be regular, healthy contact between spouses and in-laws. This can mean visiting each other at least once or twice a month, or calling if distance makes it difficult to get together.  6. Realism  Boy meets girl. They fall in love. They live happily ever after.  This is the plot of many a Hollywood and Bollywood movie, where everyone is "perfect". Real life is very different.  Couples may enter marriage with high-flying romantic ideas and expecting their partner to be the ideal human. But all humans have good and bad points. Husbands and wives have to learn to accept each other, warts and all.  6. Making a schedule and establishing rituals  Making a schedule may seem like an end to spontaneity but it's not.  This allows you to establish your own lifestyle and rituals as a couple. It's especially important if both the husband and wife are going to school and/or working. In this scenario, a schedule helps in setting time aside for each other during a fast-paced week of work and studies.  Some rituals couples can establish may include:  • praying at least one prayer together  • attending a study circle together once a week  • deciding on a weekly menu  • having a pancake breakfast every Saturday morning  • setting aside one day on which no work or studying will be done  • setting a day when both the husband and wife will clean up the house  • setting a time to discuss finances and a budget  • making a phone contacting during the day  • deciding on a particular day and time once a month at least to visit each other's parents  By discussing and setting up these rituals, couples learn how to talk to and feel responsible for each other. They also learn to become a team instead of two people living in the same with separate lives.  7. Marriage as a restriction  Muslim men who have grown up in North America (and else where) may find marriage restricting. After all, before, they could hang out with their buddies and get home by 11:00 p.m. and no one would say a word. After marriage though, they have to be home by 7:00 p.m if not earlier.  While marriage comes with responsibilities and a tighter schedule, the benefits are also there. It takes time and patience to realize that in the end the benefits (i.e. a life partner, kids, etc.) are greater than the restrictions.  8. Friends and Islamic activities  Friends are a joy and a good friend is someone you want to be close to for the rest of your life. But friends are often the source of many marriage conflicts. Too much time spent with friends, either hanging out or on the phone, means time lost with a husband/wife.  Also, friends, especially if they are of the same age group, may give the wrong advice on marriage, due to their own inexperience in the area.  Some possible solutions to the friends dilemma could be:  • working out a "friends time" at least once a week where the husband and the wife meet and/or talk with friends privately  • developing friendships with other married couples so spouses can befriend spouses  Islamic activities fall in a similar category. Young Muslim activists may think they can keep attending those three-hour Muslim Students' Association meetings as they did before marriage. Not so.  Too much focus on outside Islamic activities takes away from spouse time. Give Islamic activities their due but within a balance of everyone's rights, including those of your spouse.  9. Not keeping secrets  A number of young married couples are notorious for not keeping secrets, especially related to sexual matters, and exposing their spouse's faults. This is not only unacceptable. It's unIslamic. Couples should seek to hide each other's faults. They should seek advice on marriage problems from a "marriage mentor", someone who is older, wiser, trustworthy and has the best interests of both parties at heart.  10. Finances  How much should be spent on furniture, the house, food, etc. These are staple issues of any household and can lead to a tug-of-war between husband and wife.  To keep spending in check, husbands and wives need to draft a budget then stick to it. The household will run more efficiently and that's one less source of conflict in the marriage.  A special note to husbands: in the beginning of marriage, husbands tend to shower their wives with gifts. They do this as an expression of love and because they want to provide for their wives. However, as time passes and they keep giving, they go into debt or experience financial difficulty. As well, wives get used to a certain level of comfort which husbands can no longer afford.  Providing for a wife (and later on, a family) is not just reserved to material things. It includes spending time with her, and treating her with equity and kindness. In fact, most wives would prefer this kind of provision over expensive gifts.  11. Give each other space  A number of couples think being married means always being together and serving each other hand and foot.  Wives may initially take over all household chores, not letting the husband help or even do his own things (i.e. ironing his own clothes). They later regret this as household responsibilities increase and their husbands become dependent on them for the smallest things.  Husbands may think getting married means being with their wives all the time. This later may lead them to becoming irritable and cranky.  The key is to focus on being caring, fond of and accepting each other and giving each other sufficient space. Doing this provides a necessary balance in a relationship which is so close physically and emotionally.

AISHA