The good Muslim mother-in-law and Her attitude towards her daughter-in-law

I hope all the Respected mother-in-laws could hear me then life of Daughter-in-Laws would be sooooo peaceful, May Allah guide us all - Ameen :)

A good Muslim Mother-in-law and Her attitude towards her daughter-in-law - 

The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of her religion and who is of a high character, regards her daughter-in-law as she regards her own daughters. Fate has made this woman the wife of her son, and she has joined the family and become one of its members. 

She knows her place On the basis of this correct understanding of the daughter-in-law's position in marriage and her position in her new family, the mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law properly and fairly in all circumstances and at all times.
It never crosses the mind of the Muslim mother-in-law who is filled with Islamic values, that this woman has stolen the son whom she spent long years bringing up only to be taken away, when he reached the age of manhood and became able to work and make sacrifices, by a wife who would lead him into a happy home where he would forget everything that his mother had ever done for him. Such evil thoughts never occur to the righteous Muslim woman, because she understands the laws of Allah (SWT) that apply in this life, and she knews that her son, to whom she taught Islamic values from early childhood, cannot be made to forget his mother by his beautiful wife, just as the daughter-in-law whom she chose for her son from among the good, believing young women, would never accept for her husband to forget his mother in this way, which is precisely that disobedience which has been forbidden by Islam. 

If she feels any stirrings of jealousy at some moment of human weakness, she seeks refuge in her faith and fear of Allah (SWT), and so she sheds these hateful feelings and returns to a proper opinion of her daughter-in-law. This is the attitude of the righteous believers, men and women alike, when they are struck by some evil thought they turn to Allah (SWT):
( Those who fear Allah, when a thought of evil from Satan assaults them, bring Allah to remembrance, when lo! They see [aright]!) (Qur'an 7:201)
 
  Hence a balance is struck between the daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law and the husband, and matters may run their natural, peaceful course unaffected by misguided whims and desires and governed instead by religion, reason and wisdom. 

 She gives advice but does not interfere in their private life
From the moment her daughter-in-law is brought as a bride to her son, the wise Muslim woman remembers that her daughter-in-law has the right to live her married life in all aspects - so long as it remains within the limits of Islamic teaching - and that no-one has the right to interfere in the private life of the spouses except in cases where it is essential to do so, as every Muslim is required to give sincere advice in accordance with the Prophet's words: "Religion is sincere advice (nasihah) . . ."²
The Muslim mother-in-law's standard in her behaviour towards her daughter-in-law is her behaviour towards her own daughter: just as she wants her daughter to have a happy, successful and independent marriage, undisturbed by any interference in her private life, so she wishes the same for her daughter-in-law, with no exceptions.

 

She respects her and treats her well

The good Muslim mother-in-law respects her daughter-in-law and treats her well; she makes her feel that she is loved and appreciated; she listens to her thoughts and opinions, approving and encouraging those that are good, and gently correcting those that are mistaken. In all of this, the mother-in-law's aim is to be fair and just, so she judges her daughter-in-law exactly as she would judge her daughter if she were in her place giving her opinion to her mother, in accordance with the words of the Qur'an:

"O you who believe! Fear Allah, and [always] say a word directed to the Right." (Qur'an 33:70)

She does not omit to express the joy that she feels from time to time, when she sees that her son is happy with his wife, and this adds to the best feelings that her son and daughter-in-law feel. Similarly, she does not forget to include her daughter-in-law on various occasions, just as she thinks of her daughters, so she lets her accompany them, and makes her feel that she is one of them, and that she is a beloved member of the family since she is married to her beloved son.

In this way the mother-in-law becomes dear to her daughter-in-law, because she shows that her daughter-in-law is dear to her. This is in direct contrast to the practice in those backward, jahili societies that have deviated from the guidance of Allah (S.W.T.), where hatred and despicable plots between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law are the norm, to such an extent that this enmity has become a traditional, inevitable phenomenon, about which there are many folk sayings and popular songs. None of this could have happened if both mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law had really respected one another's rights as outlined by Islam, and had stayed within the limits prescribed by Allah (S.W.T.). This is why the traditional enmity between the mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law disappeared in those societies that truly embraced Islam and adhered to its teachings and values.

She is wise and fair in her judgement
of her daughter-in-law
A mother-in-law may find herself being tested by a daughter-in-law who is not of good character, one who does not treat others well. Here we see the need for the mother-in-law to exercise wisdom and sophistication by repelling evil with something better, as stated in the Qur'an:
( Nor can Goodness and Evil be equal. Repel [Evil] with what is better: then will he between whom and you was hatred become as it were your friend and intimate!And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint – none but persons of the greatest good fortune.) (Qur'an 41:34-35)
 
  One way in which a mother-in-law may repel evil with something better is by concealing her daughter-in-law's negative qualities and mistakes from her son as much as possible( I wish my own mother-in-law could see this ), advising her daughter-in-law on her own and explaining how keen she is for the marriage to continue on the basis of love and good works. The mother-in-law should continue to advise her daughter-in-law until she rids herself of those negative qualities, or at least minimizes them. Thus the daughter-in-law will feel that she has a sincere, loving mother-in-law, not a fearsome enemy who is just waiting for her to stumble. The wise Muslim mother-in-law remains fair and just when she judges between her daughter-in-law and her son, if she sees her son mistreating her daughter-in-law. Her awareness and fear of Allah (SWT) prevent her frowith her son at the expense of the truth, so she does not support him in oppressing his wife or in doing wrong. This is in accordance with the words of the Qur'an:
( . . . Whenever you speak, speak justly, even if a near relative is concerned . . .) (Qur'an 6:152) ( . . . And when you judge between man and man, that you judge with justice . . .) (Qur'an 4:58)
 

The Muslim woman who is truly following this guidance will never commit the sin of oppression, and will never be content to give any judgement except that which is fair, even if this means judging in favour of her daughter-in-law and against her son.  

How to answer the usual questions asked of Indians in USA & the West?????

To help the new wave of students going abroad from India,
here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday:

Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery
skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot.
In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives.
You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....

Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All
the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants.
Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our
house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride
sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see
elephants have an "emissions" problem.....

Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to
encourage ride-sharing schemes.

Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.

Q. How come you speak English so well?
A. You see when the British were ruling India,they employed Indians
as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English.
So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused
their servants' babies with it and since then
all babies born are born speaking English.

Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would
let me go to school.

Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously.
That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.

Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency.
We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why
you see all these thin skinny Indians -- it is is a lot of hard
work.

Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But
it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work
when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing.
That is why things are so inefficient there.

Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the botton of our feet to make it
hard so that we can walk.

Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?
A. I prefer it to coming naked.

Characteristics of a Muslim Husband

Characteristics of a Muslim Husband

No one ever thinks about the characteristics of a Muslim husband. It is always what a wife should do for the husband...and the list never ends; home management, tutoring, ferrying the kids, caring, cooking, cleaning, washing, working, you name it, she is doing it. so what about the brothers?

Our beloved Prophet SAW was not like this. So, why the men of this
Ummah? It is quite interesting. So I thought I'd share it with you!!!
What a Muslim husband should be like...

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good..  When was the last

time you went shopping for designer pyjamas? Just like the husband wants
his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up
for her too. Remember that the Prophet (PBUH) would always start with
Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2. Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved

names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily
lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which
brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug'
him.. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does
and focus on that.

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! 
This is one of the ways the Prophet (PBUH) used when he would see
something inappropriate from his wives (R.A). It's a technique that few
Muslim men have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her  and embrace her often..

Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah.
Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those
Ahadith when the Prophet (PBUH) would kiss his wife before leaving for
Salaah, even when he was fasting.

6. Thank her for all that she does for you.  Then thank her again! Take

for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home,
and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only
acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the
soup. Don't let that be; thank her!

7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made
her happy.   Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what

gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask
her and work on repeating those times in your life.

8. Don't belittle her desires.  Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look

down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (PBUH) set the
example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (R.A) was crying because, as
she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted
her, and brought her the camel.

9. Be humorous and play games with your wife.  Look at how the Prophet
(PBUH) would race with his wife Aisha (R.A) in the desert. When was the
last time we did something like that?

10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger (PBUH): 'The best of
you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best
amongst you to my family.' Try to be the best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - ta'ala to make your
marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best!! 

ALEXANDER THE GREAT'S LAST WORDS

ALEXANDER THE GREAT'S LAST WORDS

The world's best two line poem :      

 

" Ice melts when heated "
    "Eyes melt when hated

Alexander, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home. On the way, he fell ill and it took him to his death bed. With death staring him in his face, Alexander realized how his conquests, his great army, his sharp sword and all his wealth were of no consequence.

He now longed to reach home to see his mother's face and bid her his last adieu. But, he had to accept the fact that his sinking health would not permit Him to reach his distant homeland. So, the mighty conqueror lay prostrate and pale, helplessly waiting to breathe his last.
>
 He called his generals and said, "I will depart from this world soon, I have three wishes, please carr them out without fail."
 With tears flowing down their cheeks, the generals agreed to abide by their king's last wishes.

 "My first desire is that", said Alexander,

"My physicians alone must" carry my coffin."

After a pause, he continued, "Secondly, I desire that when my coffin is being carried to the grave, the path leading to the graveyard be strewn with gold, silver and precious stones which I have collected in my treasury".
>
 The king felt exhausted after saying this. He took a minute's rest and continued. "My third and last wish is that both my hands be kept dangling out of my coffin".
>
 The people who had gathered there wondered at the king's strange wishes. But no one dared bring the question to their lips.. Alexander's favorite general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart. "O king, we assure you that your wishes will all be fulfilled. But tell us why do you make such strange wishes?"
>
 At this Alexander took a deep breath and said: "I would like the world  to know of the three lessons I have just learnt.

 Lessons to learn from last 3 wishes of King Alexander...

 I want my physicians to carry my coffin because people should realize that no doctor can really cure any body. They are powerless and cannot save a person from the clutches of death. So let not people take life for granted.

 The second wish of strewing gold, silver and other riches on the way  to the graveyard is to tell People that not even a fraction of gold will come with me. I spent all my life earning riches but cannot take anything with me. Let people realize that it is a sheer waste of time  to chase wealth.

 And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of the coffin, I wish people to know that I came empty handed into this world and  empty handed I go out of this world".

 With these words, the king closed his eyes. Soon he let death conquer him and breathed his last. . . .

LESSON TO LEARN

 Remember, your good health is in your own hands,

look after it.
 

Wealth is only meaningful if you can enjoy while

you are still alive and kicking.
 

What you do for yourself dies with you but what you

do for others, lives on. "Legacy".

Trust in God - I Do..